“It’s Not My Fault”
Here’s another story written more than a few years ago–1996 to be exact.
And speaking of natural disaster cakes, last year we decided to invite all of my daughter‘s soccer team and their parents to have cake and pizza after a game on her ninth birthday. I figured I might have as many as fifteen kids and an assortment of parents and was afraid that a single layer 9×13 inch cake wouldn‘t be enough. So I bought two cake mixes for a second layer.
Merrilee selected the kind of cake mix that has lovely pink and blue swirls throughout the cake. She also wanted chocolate icing and some of those crunchy, nearly tasteless candies in various circus shapes.
I made the first cake, let it cool, and iced the top, and then made the other cake. I let it cool in the pan the prescribed ten minutes, and then figured I‘d save a little time and aggravation and just go ahead and dump the warm cake ceremoniously on top of the first layer.
I remember my grandfather used to use a tool that was basically a piece of wire attached to two metal posts and a handle. The wire could be used to cut off the rounded part of the cake top to make an even flat surface for stacking layers and for decorating. His cakes were always cool–sometimes directly out of the freezer–for easier decorating.
Those two tips would have come in handy for my two-layer birthday cake. I guess the bottom cake was a little too mounded in the center, and the top cake as still a little warm. The top cake cracked open, showing all the lovely pink and blue swirls.
I reached for the icing and began to fill in the crack. It took an entire tub of that stuff to fill it in–we‘re talking MAJOR crevasse! Unfortunately, I ran out of icing before I ran out of crevasse. No problem. I could just cover the cake with my cake cover and get some more icing in the morning in plenty of time to finish the cake before game time.
The lid is only designed to cover a single layer cake and wouldn‘t accommodate two layers. I didn‘t know any way to wrap the cake such that the wrapping could be removed the next morning either.
We live out in the country, and frequently have uninvited furry guests make their way into the house. It‘s worse when the weather begins to turn colder as they come in looking for a warm place to stay. It was November and that night was going to be pretty cold. I knew I couldn‘t just leave the cake uncovered for fear of finding little tiny footprints running through the crack the next day.
So, back to the grocery store for more icing. I got there just minutes before they were to close at 9 pm–this town isn‘t big enough to have all night grocery stores! I got the icing and returned home.
I finished decorating the cake that night. It was covered with icing. We dubbed it a “California Earthquake Cake” aka “It’s not my ‘fault’!” It looked like the science project of some kid studying plate tectonics. I worried that the top layer might slide off the bottom layer, demonstrating avalanches in motion. I stuck toothpicks all over it to keep the plastic wrap off the cake. Merrilee put a bag of the circus candies on the top.
By the time we got finished, it looked like a major earthquake had happened in the middle of Barnum and Bailey, leaving death and destruction and a large porcupine in its wake.
Her team won the game the next day, and some of them even ate cake after-wards. I offered to help any of the other moms the next time they needed a cake for a special occasion.
So far, nobody‘s taken me up on it.
Epilogue: A few things have changed since 1996. We now have a 24 hour Walmart just down the road. And we have seen only one mouse in the last 13 years, since July 2005. That would be the day Kiko, our black Siamese cat, showed up as a tiny, wet kitten in the rain. One thing hasn’t changed–I still improvise in the kitchen!